Saturday, December 19, 2009

With LOVE,

We went to a family Christmas party this morning and every year Santa gives the children gifts when they sit on his knee of course. Well this year was especially special for Gabi. She sat on Santa's lap and gratefully accepted his gift to her. Just as she was going to climb off his knee he noticed there was actually another gift for her. As you can imagine, that was very exciting for her to see another gift, and this one was even BIGGER! When she opened it up it was a BEAUTIFUL quilt that was handmade by Ben's aunt, just for her.

It had a special note to Gabi telling her how special she is and that she is loved and thought about daily. The quilt was a token of love and sacrifice because of the treatments she so frequently endures.



Thank You Joyce for your hard work and thoughtfulness.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Treatment #14

Treatment #14 down. Who knows how many more to go, I sure wish I did.
We went back to flying this treatment because of weather, which was a great idea seeing as I-70 was closed through the canyons the days we were traveling.

Gabi was really excited to fly on a plane again. this is her at least 38th time on a plane. What normal 3 year old has flown 38 times? I am just surprised I am still alive ( I HATE flying! I think I am going to die, the anxiety kills me!). Gabi is great on the plane and loves it.

Giving daddy hugs.

When we arrived in Colorado the temperatures were FREEZING, actually below freezing, Gabi loved to "make smoke" come out her mouth. She thought that was super cool.

After some shopping and dinner we checked-in the hotel and changed into our swimming suits. That is Gabi's favorite part of going to Colorado. Not that there are many "fun" things to chose from.

After we swam and settled down for the night she looked up at the ceiling and quickly jumped up from the bed and announced that she was ready to go home and that she wasn't going to stay here any more, she hated the hotel and she didn't want to live there anymore. You see, she is catching on to the routine, no matter how hard we try to mix it up or keep her and her mind occupied on fun and activities, she gets it. She told us that the "bumpy ceiling made her sad." After a lot of talking and fingernail painting she finally dozed off; to be rudely awoken at 5am to get to the hospital.

Once there she explained to us everything that was going to happen. "First we go see that lady (the admissions lady) and get my bracelet (patient wrist band) and put stickers on it. Then we go up the elevator to the room with all the couches (surgery waiting room). Then we go with the nurse and watch TV on that tiny TV (Pre-Op)." At this point she gets very anxious and doesn't trust anyone. We try to talk her and bribe her into taking Versed so that she will be calmer and hopefully not remember the treatment but this time was NOT successful on getting her to take it. The only thing she would do was put on her hospital gown because "Angi made it and she loves me so much, and Addi sent it to me." Because she didn't take the Versed it made it a lot harder to get her under anesthesia. She fought so hard and kept saying, "Mom, I love you, MOM! I LOVE YOU!" and I could see in her eyes her pleading for me not to do this, not again. I tried to tell her that everything was going to be okay but the hard part is that we tell her how beautiful she is and how special her birthmark is; and she doesn't understand WHY we are going to the doctor to "FIX" it or "HELP it get better." She is so sweet and I hope this ends soon!
She recovered from anesthesia quickly and was in no pain (that she would tell me or acted at least). Se asked if she could take the IV home because she was so scared of taking the tape off her arm because they seriously tape 1/3 of her arm so the IV will NOT come out. One more time we had to pin her arm down while she cried to please not hurt her anymore so we could get the tape off and the IV out. Once it was finally out her boots were on and she was outta there, but not without her Christmas candy cane she got to take out of Santa's sleigh.
Once we were in the car she said that she was STARVING and all she wanted was a hamburger and fries, so of course we obliged. She ate a few bites and was ready to go swimming! She quickly changed and was posing in the mirror in minutes.

She had to bring her lady bag poolside so she was ready to swim in style.

After 2 more times swimming and a good nights rest it was time to go home.
Our flight wasn't until late Tuesday night so we had to burn the day hours and finally we could get home. We had to walk to out little plane in the still freezing temps.
And in only 1 hour and 16 minutes we were.

HOME!

Ready for the holiday's with no treatment until February.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

in STYLE

Gabi has the most AWESOME aunt in the entire world, HANDS DOWN!
I was telling Aunt Honey about how Shalon makes her own hospital gowns and how it would be so fun and a lot more comfortable for Gabi than wearing the hospitals old gowns.

She took it upon herself (while in the process of a cross country move) to make her nieces treatments a little more manageable.

She even made the pocket on the front large enough to slide the heart monitors through!
GENIUS!

Thank You Aunt Honey!
We love you so much!

*Treatment 14 scheduled for December 7.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Treatment #13...and counting

Gabi has been so great all these treatments on traveling to Colorado. We have flown every time, but decided that we would drive this time, just to try it out. Plus it is fall and we were hoping for some autumn leaves through the Rockies.

Our trip this time around started early Sunday morning, dropping Izze (little sis) off at Grandma and Grandpa's house. We immediately hit the road to Colorado.

Not before the typical Gabi poses for the camera and her fans!

...And then we were really off.

Gabi sat in the back seat and watched Word Factory and practiced letters in her preschool book, and before she knew it a few hours had passed and we stopped for some gas, a treat, and a potty break at the Maverick.

She watched the plains go by for a while before we pulled the car over to get a photo with Dad and the Colorado sign of course.

Once we made it into Colorado everything started getting beautiful. We drove next to the Colorado River for miles, and there were TONS of beautiful trees and leaves flying into the white capped river.

By 12:30pm we had made it to Rifle where we stopped to eat some lunch. Dad packed a camping meal, so he heated up the stove and boiled the water and made some surprisingly delicious Beef and Potato lunch.

While the food was cooking Gabi took to the pond to throw in some rocks and to stretch her legs a bit.

Lunch is served; and she ate it ALL up, even her second helping!

After playing around and getting an Oreo McFlurry, it was back to the road. The Mountain passes were gorgeous! We saw trains and awesome mountain formations, kayakers and road bikers. It was just amazing, and Gabi was content to look at it all for hours out the window.

We knew we were getting close when we hit the Eisenhower Tunnel. Once into Denver, we made our way straight to Englewood where we got a good dinner in our bellies and then hit the hotel for a quick night that would end early. 5am, and we were off to the hospital for treatment #13.

Gabi has done very well emotionally to handle these treatments, but as she has been getting older and understanding what it is that she is doing and why, it has been harder on her. She always asks her daddy for a blessing so that she will be strong and brave, and to bless the doctors and nurses that they will perform to their highest standard. There would be no way that we could go through this without prayer, without family, and without support from everyone around us.

This particular time at the hospital Gabi had a flood of questions for us. "Why is my birthmark growing?" "Why do I have to do this?" "Is this my last time?" Followed by many strong feelings about being there. "I am not coming again, this is my last time." "It is all better, I don't have to come back." "My doctor said I don't have to come again." As any parent could imagine my heart was heavy, and my eyes were wet. It is the innocent who suffer for us. It is the pure who endure such trials. Life is not fair. As Christ took our sins upon Him and died so that we may live, I am sure that His Father and ours was weeping, for it had to be done. I am sure Christ was feeling the same as Gabi and had the same questions, "Why?" "How long must I endure?" How Christ-like children are. How pure and innocent.

She put her brave face on and pushed right through her fears; of the hospital, the machines, the medicine, the unknown. She knows what is happening, and if it were up to her she would walk right out of the hospital and go home. But because she trusts her Mom and Dad and knows they would do nothing to ever hurt or harm her, she allows herself to put her whole trust in them and more importantly she puts her trust and her faith in the hands of her Father in Heaven. She knows that He will protect her, watch over her and heal her. Her faith is HUGE!

As a mother it kills me to see her fight every single time she is given anesthesia. I hold her in my arms and try to calm her at the same time I am holding the gas mask over her face. Her eyes pleading not to do this again. Her eyes close and we then leave her in the hands of her doctors and pray for her safety and recovery.
About an hour later we got a call from Dr. Yakes that she did great, and another treatment was successful in treating more areas. To see her time and time again in pain, and swollen to point she can't eat or see for days is gut wrenching.

This time while in Recovery, we overheard two of Dr. Yakes patients talking about how this was their last treatment. That they were DONE! How happy and excited I was to hear that someone was done. But at the same moment I was holding in my arms my little girl who has endured 13 treatments from the time she was 8 months old and we had no idea how many more we would have to do before we too could say, "WE ARE DONE!"

She is so sweet. She doesn't complain, and doesn't whine about "Why Me." She plainly asks if we can go home now so that she can play with, "My little Izze." She immediately thinks of others and not herself. She cares so much about her little sister. She adapts so quickly and effortlessly to things that would be so difficult to me. She will drink out of cups at crazy angles, eat with her off hand, run with one eye completely swollen shut, eat teeny tiny bites of things even when she is starving, because she simply can't fit a piece any larger in her mouth.

By the time she was discharged and the IV was taken out she insisted on putting her shoes on and walking out unassisted. She has the mentality that nothing and no one is going to get in the way of what she wants to, and, is GOING to do.

We headed back to the hotel for a bite to eat before bed. It was another early morning on Tuesday, we left at 5am and made it to Grandma and Grandpa's by 1pm to pick up Izze.

Another thing about Gabi that is amazing is her self confidence and her self-esteem. It is remarkable! I don't know of another child or person who would go to school, or dance class the day after a treatment like this. Not only would the rest of us (and I am sure Gabi included, she just wont show it) feel crappy, but she get so many questions, and stares...but she is proud to wear her birthmark; and completely happy to tell anyone who wants to know, all about it.